Monday, November 24, 2008
The dead past.
She stares ahead, afraid of looking back at the distant darkness she just came out of. Looking around her, she realises that she's stuck in a world where nothing prevails.
She starts sniffing to herself. Why did she do it? Why did she try to be someone else?
Deciding to walk ahead, she felt everyone glaring at her ragged self. Why did she allow them to?
Wasn't she the one who gave them the permission to do so, anyway?
"Look ahead," she tells herself. She walks past Amelia, the girl who made her life . How she wished she could stop and strangle her, but she knew she couldn't, because Amelia was only a figurine of her past, so far away. Breathing heavily, she looks away, and continues walking, a little faster though.
Then, she sees them. As blurrish as her relationship with them had been, she wished that she hadn't moved away from them. Those months were still etched in her mind, when things weren't complicated. When she was a completely different person, when she was who she wanted to be. She wants to rush to them and hug them, but it's too late. They fade away, merry their faces.
She stops cold in her path. She knows what was awaiting her ahead. The part of her life she regretted the most. When she had the choice to be someone else, she took it. What a grave mistake it turned out to be. But she knows she can't refuse to go ahead, because she has to see her whole life in action before going away, forever and ever. It was the only rule that could not be broken.
She walks briskly ahead, daring to glance around her at the people. Th cold smiles, the hidden secrets. All so familiar. There was also the smiling faces, those cold murderers. Icy stares surrounded her. She didn't belong. Everyone wanted to use her. Painful flashbacks didn't help her case.
There she went, staring ahead as she walked past the heaps of people who kept backstabbing her. It didn't matter now though. She is dead, a spirit spending her final minutes in the universe.
Then, she'd be free, from her past, from everything.
With Love,
